May 2001--Singer/songwriter,
Now and Then Records recording artist, and sometime Tim Helmen songwriting
collaborator
Jason Gray
recently took some time to ask Tim some questions about the "Room For
Cream" CD, an unreleased project that was extended to become "Another
Season." Jason Gray
talks to Tim Helmen about Room For Cream
This interview took place when "Room For Cream" was set to be a
six-song release. Since then, four additional songs have been recorded
and added to the record. I'll try to hook up with Jason again so we can
discuss the final content and update this interview, but until then just
keep the timing of conversation in mind. Thanks.
TH: And the thing is, it goes back many years before we ever met. It’s been a long haul, believe me.
JG: I’m sure it feels good to finally put something out there. But still, "Room For Cream" feels like more of an appetizer than a main course. What's the story behind this release and how did you approach making it?
TH: It’s pretty ironic that for as long as I’ve been working towards a first release, what finally comes out is a six-song project. But that’s an important part of this coming out at all.
Because the truth is, I’m a bit of a control freak—
JG: No way, not you! But I suppose I shouldn’t talk - it must come with the creative territory.
TH: For me it’s frustrating, because when I’m writing, I can control every element, taking however much time I want. But with playing and singing, I’ve got to do it in real time. The theoretical or idealized song may be perfect, but finally it has to be translated into a performance or captured on a recording, and I still want to have that same level of control. Combine that with the fact that I’ve got a very eclectic musical sense, and I’m very much prone to option paralysis.
JG: I’ve heard it called the paralysis of analysis…
TH: Right, endlessly picking apart each little element in isolation, when really the bottom line is whether it works as a whole, whether it’s interesting and communicates something. So looking at where I had been and where I wanted to go, I could easily see myself getting caught in a cycle in terms of tinkering with arrangements and song lists and such, and ending up with bunches of fragments of things recorded that never see the light of day as far as public release.
So though recently I was making good progress on recording a batch of tunes for what I envisioned would be my first project, it was clear that it was very likely it could be many months before I would have found enough moments to steal to finish it off. And I had clearly come to a point where I needed to have a recording available to be able to send listeners home with and to represent my music to people who hadn’t heard me perform live.
So I took stock of what I had available in terms of songs that were already recorded in an acceptable format. I excluded songs where I had more elaborate arrangements, and focused on those that were done with just acoustic guitar and vocal. I also dropped off the list things that clearly were thematically essential to the next project I want to put out.
When all was said and done, these six songs were the ones left standing. So the final song list came about from circumstance more than any pre-meditation. And I think that was in fact a very important step for me, to let go, to give up control and let the music be.
As I worked with these six recordings in the process of mixing and assembling the project, I was very pleased with how they held together and represented a range of what I’m about as a writer, guitarist, and vocalist.
So, yes, it is an appetizer of sorts, I guess, and I hope it will get people interested in finding out what’s in the next course.
TH: Well, as I said, once this project came about, it was assembled from things I had already recorded, so there wasn’t an over-arching plan in place beforehand as far as how to record them. But looking back on these recordings in retrospect, they all were approached with the idea of capturing a real, live, unique performance. One of the things that really slowed down the process for me in the past was a pretty obsessive attention to every detail. The result was a batch of technically-precise renditions that had no passion. To tell the truth, they had trouble holding my own attention, so that doesn’t bode well for how listeners would hear them.
These tunes were all done with a different approach, performing the guitar and voice simultaneously, really trying to get some intimacy and spontaneity on the recording. They aren’t pristine, polished and perfect, but they’ve got some real life to them, and I think that makes them much more effective and communicative.
The title track “Room For Cream” is a prime example of this.
JG: I remember hearing several different versions of this one as you were working on it, and that though there were more polished takes of this song, it was that first one you sent me that you recorded live - and was a little rough around the edges that grabbed me. I’m glad you used it.
TH: What the early version had going for it was that the guitar part was almost completely unpremeditated--I really had no idea how I was going to develop that groove. It ended up being very improvisiational. I think if I’m able to surprise and delight myself, that’s going to come across the the listener, and perhaps they can be surprised and delighted also.
TH: You know, that was a huge part of what I mentioned before: the need to let go and give up some control. There’s this tendency to want a CD to be the perfect representation of my work. But the reality is, no single project ever could be. With this I just had to make the decision to start somewhere, to put out this glimpse into my musical life and then keep moving on from there. Just making this first step is huge for me.
And I am pleased that I did end up with a mix of older and more recent tunes. I like what I’m writing now, but there’s still a lot of stuff from the past that I think holds up and I still enjoy doing. It’s nice to have worthy material from the past that comes from a voice I wouldn’t necessarily write with now.
JG: So tell me what eras these songs come from, and how they reflect your priorities and attitudes about writing at the time you wrote them.
TH: I just recently went through my notebooks on theses songs. It’s pretty funny, because “Unchallenged Echoes” is all about having these songs in my head and heart, and trying to figure out how to get them out to people. I sing “any day I’ll turn them loose.” I wrote that in 1989, twelve years ago! Long time coming. That song definitely comes from a younger phase of my writing, when most of it was very personal and self-reflective, which is a pretty typical way to start. That one still holds up for me because it’s a lot of fun to play, and it’s really poking fun at some of the pretentiousness I can be prone to--thinking my music will save the world and all that. It’s good to keep myself in my place, you know?
JG: Yeah, I think self deprecating humor is not only funny, but really important - especially for a writer. It’s easy to get a little egocentric.
TH: Sure. Because we earnestly hope these songs will connect with people and move them in some way. But finally we have to realize we can only do our part as well as we can, and the rest is out of our hands.
As far as the history of the other songs, “The Visitor” and “Long Shot” are from a bit later on, 1993/1994. Those were important songs as they were perhaps my first attempts at writing narrative songs. They’ve both got a short story quality to them, especially “Long Shot”, where I tried to bring in a lot of descriptive detail, to move things along with characterization and flavor, and to let the story itself carry the message. The chorus steps out of the narrative, but still doesn’t spell everything out and tie up a nice package of interpretation.
“The Visitor” has a more mythical sort of quality. I had fun putting a lot of allusion in there. Though the lyric hasn’t changed since I first completed the song, that one has been developing musically ever since, particularly in the guitar part. It’s a fun groove that opens itself up to a lot of dynamics and improvisation.
One thing about those two tunes compared to the recent ones--“Room For Cream”, “When The Phone Rings” and “Dance You A Story”--is that they took a long time to write. I really labored long and hard over the lyrics. The concept for “Long Shot” was one that I carried around for years before I finally forged the song.
In contrast, “Room For Cream” and “Dance You A Story” were each written in a day, and “When The Phone Rings” was written very quickly also. They all come from just the last few months.
I think there might be a couple of reasons that I’m writing faster now. For one thing, I’m just getting to be a better writer from experience. Things that might have required hard labor in the past now come more intuitively. I can trust my voice even more now, and my instincts tend to be true.
For instance “When The Phone Rings” I wrote as an exercise. I decided to assign myself a project of taking a very specific circumstance and seeing what came out of it. So I started with just the idea of a person waiting alone for a phone call that could have life-changing implications. I think many people have been in situations like that, whether it concerns the path of a relationship, a career crisis, or the safety of a loved one. So I just set up this situation, and trusted my instincts to make a song out of it. I still don’t quite know what the phone call might represent to the narrator, and I certainly don’t resolve the situation in the song--he or she is still waiting. I think that element of mystery is where the power of the song comes in--it still keeps it intriguing for me, I know that. In a sense, it’s about nothing more than the song itself, and yet, there is a deep resonance there that’s kind of haunting. That comes from trusting that I know how to write a song and letting the song find its own way. I don’t know that I was in a place where I could have written that song five years ago.
“Room For Cream” is kind of a companion piece to “Unchallenged Echoes”. It’s about trying to make a connection through music. But I think it reflects a different approach--not so confessional. And it shows the results of my efforts to take a more lean approach to lyrics. I sketch out the various characters in a coffee shop using a minimum of words. I remember you mentioned to me w while back that my newer material leaves more space, and I think that’s a good description of what’s happening. When the lyrics aren’t so dense, there’s more opportunity for the listener to enter in, to let the lyrics resonate, to create the scenes in their own minds.
JG: When I revisited it in the liner notes, I saw that it's part of a larger lyric that goes: "so I'll tell what I can and I'll trust you can fill in the gaps... It will float you away to your dreams / it will cut like a knife / I'll enrage and offend you / if I get it right / I will comfort your shivering heart .... I will make you abandon all hope / you will fall into miracle just past the end of your rope ..." Does this reflect your approach to writing?
TH: I think so. That entire lyric has multiple layers of meanings for me throughout, and that’s one of them that’s in there.
The bit about filling in the blanks has to do with the fact that I try to leave space for the listeners to participate, to complete and expand the lyric in their own mind. When every song lays everything out for you, and tells you exactly what the point is, I think that’s selling the listener short, it’s depriving them of the chance to make the song theirs. When the listener gets to construct and complete the meaning for himself or herself, a deeper connection is made because of that sense of ownership and participation.
And the other thing those lines deal with is the fact that not everything in my songs is sweetness and light. It’s not shiny, happy, no-problems kind of music. I think my songs overall are very true to reporting things as a Leonard Cohen lyric says: “There is a crack in everything/ that’s how the light gets in.”
JG: That’s a great line…
TH: Or as Christ put it, “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Music that doesn’t acknowledge our shared brokenness is bound to be shallow and manipulative and its rewards only a kind of transitory buzz. As my wife Lori said just the other day, we don’t need to be pumped up so much as refreshed.
I’m trying to go for something deeper and more enduring. There’s a lot of hope in my songs, but it’s hard-won hope that doesn’t live in denial about the reality of our experience and about our helplessness. Because that’s the void where grace can come rushing in.
TH: I have tried to keep those things separate. Not that I compartmentalize my life or my faith, or that the skills involved are dissimilar. But it’s just that leading corporate worship is such a precious responsibility, and I believe that in that role it is very important to avoid a performer/audience sort of dynamic. A worship service is not the performer’s show. It’s the people of God coming into his presence, and I am just there to serve them in doing that.
The dynamic is very different in a solo performance, where there is a focus on the performer--that’s part of the deal. And there I’ve got a lot more freedom in terms of material and tone. I consciously restrain myself leading worship compared to doing a concert.
Plus the audiences are very different. Leading worship I have a specifically Christian audience--that’s why we’re all there together. But my solo material is by no means focused on that same audience. I think my material has the potential to reach the same kind of audience as, say, John Gorka’s or any number of singer-songwriters out there.
But your question is a good one, and there may be more interaction between the two roles than I thought. Last summer was my most intense experience in terms of leading worship. And the role really demands that I try to make a connection with the people. It’s not to draw attention to myself, but it’s to help the words we say and sing connect with them, assisting them in giving expression to their hearts.
JG: Sometimes--and I think you know what I mean here--I think that many singer/songwriters can start to thinking it’s all about them - and then it’s not long until their work starts losing its humanity and becomes little more than amusing wordplay. But I really appreciated how - at that songwriters retreat we were at last year - Pierce Pettis told the attendees that it has to about the song, you have to serve the song. And to me, if I’m serving the song, I’m ultimately serving the people who the song is written for - and as the importance of human connection increases, the more the veneration of ego diminishes…hopefully…
TH: I’ve certainly done my share of clever wordplay, of trying to impress people with my writing skills. But with the songs I consider my best--like ”Dance You A Story” and “We Rememer”--I find myself humbled by them more than anything, like I’m just so thankful to be able to sing them. Almost as if I find my connection to the song in the same way a listener would.
And that is a factor I think I had previously undervalued in my solo performances: making a connection with the listeners. The context is different from a worship service, obviously, but there still is that need to make contact. I think that leading worship may have played a big role in the way I’m approaching my solo material now.
TH: Believe it or not, given my track record, I do hope to be a prolific recording artist. And getting some of my worship music recorded is a very real goal. I would like to be able to disseminate it further, as there has been interest beyond my own congregation. I can’t give any time frame, but it’s certainly a project on the agenda.
JG: I love the songs of "Room For Cream", but I noticed conspicuous absences of such crowd favorites as "My New Baby" as well as others. Was this by design? Can we expect these to be released in the future?
TH: “My New Baby” is definitely one slated for the next release, a bunch of which is already complete or very far along. One of the struggles I had is that I had difficulty finding a tone for the project that was coherent. There were a lot of tunes that were definitely on the list, and others that I thought of including. But I was having a hard time making them fit together. One of the nice things about getting the “Room For Cream” CD done is that it gets some of those tunes out there, and frees the next project up to be more consistent in tone.
I noticed that a lot of the tunes I wanted to include dealt in one way or another with family. With “Room For Cream” done I can take that further and make that the theme of the entire second project. So as of now, the tunes that would be on the next project would include:
Her Song Father’s Day Eve My New Baby She Covered Us I Remember Angels Carry The World In Your Heart Wait For The Morning
and then probably three others, ten in all. I’m looking forward to it. I think having this project done will help give me some insights which will help me finish off the other one fairly quickly. I’m glad though, that I feel less pressure to rush it through. There will be more production on at least several of the tunes on the next one--additional guitars (acoustic and electric), mandolin, accordion, keyboards, percussion. I’ll be playing most everything myself, with maybe one or two exceptions. Musically there are a lot of influences that show up--folk, jazz, Brazilian, bluegrass, reggae, maybe even some ambient electric guitar loops. Should be a lot of fun.
TH: It probably wouldn’t help anyone know where to file my CD, but it’s got to beat incoherent rigidity, I would think.
My interests and influences are broad, and anything is fair game as far as I’m concerned. But at the same time, I’m not looking to accurately replicate any particular style of music, disconnedly jumping from one re-creation to another. I want to put a lot of elements together into something that in the end is just good music, and sings with its own voice, and dances to its own groove.
Some of my favorite guitarists are people like Pierre Bensusan, Bill Frisell and Dean Magraw who you can’t really pin down in any particular genre or style. They just play music the way they hear it, and don’t really care what anyone calls it.
But I think a lot of what I do on guitar isn’t particularly influenced by other guitarists. A lot of times I’m trying to hint at the kind of vibe a band would create, especially the drums and percussion. You can hear that aspect of my playing on “Room For Cream” and “The Visitor”.
I’m also trying to incorporate more improvisation into my playing. I’m a jazzer from way back, but at the point in the mid-90’s when I really began to concentrate on the singer/songwriter thing, I kind of set that aside, and got pretty strict with myself as far as what the guitar parts had to be. But more lately I’m trying to incorporate all my influences and take more chances in performance. It feels more whole to me when I do that. And I think it helps create a special space in each performance; each time it’s a unique happening that I can share with the audience, and I think they can feel that and enter in more fully.